5 Tips to Help You Keep Hope In the Hardest Times With Chronic Illness
Hope: /noun/ a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.
I tend to be a very hopeful, positive person. It’s just who I am. So when I was sitting in that hospital bed last year, feeling the depths of hopelessness wash over me, I felt so uncomfortable. So out of place. So confused. I wanted to crawl out of my own body and skin and hide under a rock and run from the hopelessness I was feeling.
I no longer had hope that…
I would get better and my body would heal
Any medication would stop the flare wreaking havoc on my body
I would be able to gain back the strength I had lost
I would ever live a “normal” life again
I would be able to run my own business full-time one day
I would find people who would “put up with me” when I was this sick
The list goes on and on, but the one thing that hopelessness tried to convince me of that shocked me the most was that I was never going to reach my dreams for my business. I remember the moment the thought crossed my mind as I was lying there - “I should just quit it all now. I’ll never be able to make it happen while I’m this sick.”
I’ve known since the day I started this all as a little blog my freshman year of college that I would be able to make it into a full-time job one day. I just KNEW. But hopeless tried to steal that dream from me.
The moment that thought passed through my brain, I knew I needed to do something, anything, to spark some hope again. It wasn’t a quick fix and there’s no magic trick that will help transform the hopelessness you may be feeling into hope, but when the darkness feels all-consuming, try these tips out and maybe just maybe they’ll help you in the way they helped me:
Sit with your feelings and don’t rush it: I recognized the hopelessness I was feeling and I recognized that most of the thoughts it was causing me to have weren’t rational or productive for my healing, but that doesn’t mean I quickly snapped out of it and was filled with hope instantaneously. Not even close. Recognition is that first step to taking a step forward. But don’t try to rush to “feel better” without fully feeling what you need to feel first. Just remind yourself that your feelings are valid and okay to feel completely and deeply.
Remind yourself of your dreams every day through future pace journaling: When I was in the hospital I started getting in the habit of journaling about my goals every single day to keep my mind excited about them and remind myself of my purpose and passion. I like using a style of journaling called “future pacing” where you write as if the “thing” has already happened. For example, two of my big goals at the time were to pass my personal training exam and continue growing my business. I would write entries as if I had already succeeded in reaching those goals. I would write about how I felt having reached those goals, what my life was like, etc. This helped me stay excited about my dreams and hold onto them instead of feeling like IBD was stealing them from me.
Do one tiny thing each day to reach those dreams or make you feel like your old self: At the time I was in the hospital I was finishing up my personal training certification, something that was also causing me to feel very hopeless. How could I become a personal trainer now that I was unable to walk one lap around the hospital wing without assistance?
Make a vision board: I’m notorious for making vision boards any time I start questioning different areas of my life. Wondering if I’ll be single forever or will never have a family? Makes a vision board featuring photos of families and words I associate with my ideal partner. Wondering if my business will continue to grow and succeed? Makes a vision board featuring encouraging words and photos that embody what I want my business and lifestyle to be like in the coming years. So, if you’re feeling hopeless on your health journey, create a vision board that encompasses your dreams and goals and you living a healthy, happy life. The process of slowing down and finding words and photos in old magazines helps you really dial in on the bright future you know you deserve. Keeping my vision board somewhere I can see often reminds me of what I’m working towards and reminds me that I will get through whatever I’m going through.
Remind yourself of your strength: Our journeys come with so many ebbs and flows. Whenever I find myself in the darkness again I remind myself of how many times I’ve come out on the other side before. It can be hard to rationalize with yourself this way, but by looking at the evidence you have that you can make it through anything that comes your way, pushes you to keep hope in yourself. And when you have hope in yourself and your strength and your ability to overcome obstacles, you're unstoppable. I find it’s easiest if I physically write down all of the difficult times and situations I’ve been through on my health journey that I’ve overcome. When you have a whole list in front of you it’s hard to deny that you’re a total bada** that can get through anything!
The last thing I want to say is open up - talk to someone when hopelessness closes in on you. Talk to your family, a trusted friend, a therapist or know that my DMs and email and inbox HERE are always open!!!
Shoot a message in one of the group chat forums, ask for help, ask for support, ask for kind words. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need on this journey. We’re always here for you.
Know that the darkness will lift and one day hope will be easier to come by. Xx